Weaning

My baby is 10 months old. He looks more and more like a little boy every day. It's thrilling and heart breaking.

Like those two little teeth coming in there. (The blur on the bottom is his thumb, not mine. All other pictures are either obscured completely by his hand or his tongue. He has that kind of relationship with the camera.)

They have caused me more pain than I've ever experienced...and I say this as someone who a)never labored but b) had a swollen brain.

I'll spare you the details...ok: pus, blood, open wounds, mastitis (AGAIN)....and just a touch of thrush.

The consensus is in: voracious eater. He's figuring it out so it's not as painful as it has been, but I'm paying attention. The writing is on the wall.

"Mama," he's saying. "Vlah, vlah, vlah, gah, grooo"

And I get it. The bottles and cups mean that he can graze, he can look around, he can continue to be busy and still get his 15-20oz of mama milk every day.

But I am going to pick a session and keep it for as long as he'll let me. Here's hoping it's not the 3:30am one.

I ran across this today on my mommy board and it made me teary. So of course, I'm sharing with you:

Wean Me Gently 
by Cathy Cardall

I know I look so big to you,
Maybe I seem too big for the needs I have.
But no matter how big we get,
We still have needs that are important to us.
I know that our relationship is growing and changing,
But I still need you. I need your warmth and closeness,
Especially at the end of the day
When we snuggle up in bed.
Please don't get too busy for us to nurse.
I know you think I can be patient,
Or find something to take the place of a nursing;
A book, a glass of something,
But nothing can take your place when I need you.
Sometimes just cuddling with you,
Having you near me is enough.
I guess I am growing and becoming independent,
But please be there.
This bond we have is so strong and so important to me,
Please don't break it abruptly.
Wean me gently,
Because I am your mother,
And my heart is tender.